A curious word – ‘detriment’. The Dictionary says it comes from the Latin ‘deterere’ meaning ‘to wear away’ and therefore ‘to cause damage, harm or loss’. What, then, can it possibly have to do with Freemasonry which prides itself on being founded on the practice of every moral and social virtue?
     In several places in our ritual, notably in the first degree working tools and in the third obligation, we use such words as ‘serving a brother in time of need without detriment to myself or connections’, or ‘to relieve his necessities so far as may fairly be done without detriment…’. Is there really anything in Freemasonry that can cause damage, harm or loss to me or my connections?
     Look at it first from the point of view of ‘detriment to myself’. There is no doubt that masonry takes up a great deal of time which we cannot easily afford, yet we are constantly being reminded that it is a duty laid upon us to attend every meeting of the lodge, pleading no excuse for absence except sickness or a pressing business emergency, – though this injunction is generally treated as rather hypothetical nowadays.
     The learning of ritual can, I suppose, be pretty time-consuming, and some find this more demanding than others.
     Should we therefore stop learning? It all depends on what you think your membership is aiming to achieve. If, as in most lodges, the object is to reach the Chair and take an active part in the ceremonies, then learning is essential, for using a book or concealed notes is a practice that the Craft in general has rigorously discouraged. But if, on the other hand, your object is just to turn up, not seeking promotion but trying to follow the precepts and practices that are commended in the ritual, then the strain of learning need not enter into your life.
     Turn now to the question of ‘detriment to my connections’. In this respect ‘connections’ presumably includes wives and families. Here the time we spend on masonic affairs can tend to cause a certain amount of resentment if it interferes with the needs of the family. ‘Oh no dear’ says mother to child, ‘he won’t be coming to see you in the school play because it’s his precious lodge night. Nothing interferes with that!’.
     Married Freemasons are in two main categories, those who were already masons before marrying, and those who were married first and became masons later. In both cases it is essential that the wife understands the full implication. Some men have actually attempted to conceal their lodge membership from their wives, but rarely with success.
     Furthermore, when a wife feels that she is being ‘kept in the dark’ about his membership she may well do her utmost to blacken the reputation of the Craft by complaining of her husband’s ‘selfish neglect’.
     There has to be a very careful balance of interests here. Unlike most other clubs and societies, one cannot just ‘visit’ without actually joining; the husband who is a musician can say ‘Come to my concert’; the golfer can say ‘Come round the course with me’, but the mason can only repeat ‘It is for members only’ and hope that the wife will understand.
     Of course we do have ‘Ladies’ Nights’ and nowadays more frequent occasions when lodges open their doors and encourage wives and friends to come and hear something of the history of Freemasonry, its aims and objects, its work in the field of Charity and other matters. There are also some excellent books and magazines (particularly this one) that can be read, and we hope appreciated, by wives and families as well.
     Fortunately for us, most wives do tolerate our masonic activities, a few disapproove entirely, while others realise that Freemasonry has done so much good in the world that it cannot be harmful to those who treat it as a genuine system of morality based on biblical standards and very largely in biblical language. I know that biblical language is no longer what it used to be, but masonry sticks to the old traditional Authorised ‘King James’ version, and I hope it always will.
     Should we hide away all masonic literature or leave it for anyone to see? I know several Brethren who have only opened their rituals when locked in the ‘smallest room in the house’ – which no doubt gave rise to the delightful (though I hope fictitious) tale of the wife who said to her husband, ‘I was spring cleaning and discovered your little black book, so now I know all about you. You are Senior Warden, aren’t you, and your place is in the W.’
     It is a good thing that we can sometimes laugh at ourselves, and we are here to be happy and to communicate happiness, but never forget that too much time spent on masonry may well mean too little time for other things and other people. It is a splendid thing to make a daily advancement in masonic knowledge, but we were also taught to be cautious. Don’t take on too much, or too soon – and always let your wife know where you are!